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Wednesday, December 31, 2008
lost it all
Hello People! INIA IMAN here writting Sya's blog. Basically, I want to tell you that this blog is still under construction. As you can see, the links, uh-huh (!) right down there. Some of you are missing because some laptop breakdown and I lost it all ( put the blame on me) So if you kindly pleaseeeee, pass your url at the tagboard. I would be glad to link you back again
ohhh ohhh sya gonna kill meee.. :(
Mrs. Geek ended @ 2:34 PM
sweetest drug
its been long since i posted pictures.took some really cute photos 2 days ago.i love these two kids very very much.thank you for making me smile again:):)for now,let the photos do the talking.
ahmad syahmi.sweetest cousin.people thought he's my bf??hahah.no no.sayang dier banyak banyak.he even gave me a massage when i said my shoulders are in pain.:)
i swear red alert was irritating with their sound, effect and the subwoofer thingy. i keep asking syahmi to stop playing. Aini and I were playing sims2. we are real bastards and weeee~ we made babies in the hot tub. oh, i mean the sims laa !
syahmi was dead bored playing that stupid game,so we pranked aini.heheh.this is what he said.so funny larhhh:D
Inia: hello! Did anyone call 8160**67 just now? Him: ahh ya... * mumble* Inia: sorry. Him: Im cookie dough. Inia: huh?!
haha. syahmi use cookie dough as his prank name. i was laughing my heart out beside him. cookie dough??so random.
him and that game.irratating.i feel like shutting down the computer because it kept on repeating 'insufficient fund.boom boom boom!'wtf.
so yea... i kept asking him to take off that snowcap of his.cos i think he look better without it.but when i took it off, he change it to middle parting. that llook really really bad on him. me dun like, you know!
ehehehehe.... im feeling super woman!
at mcdonalds.
him and his sexy ass pose.
i guess by that time,we were really tired.tak larat nak jalan lagi.aini didnt stop snapping pictures.layankan jer la...
My favourite picture. i had a great time yesterday with both of them. we sang some random song otw back like some drunk,mad humans. ehehehhe.. I dont feel gloomy anymore when im with them because i know i ll be loved and ill be enjoying myself. thanks so much.love you guys. you can check out ainis blog.her blog is much much interesting to read.
this is such a stupid video.but it made me smile somewhat. i already said its stupid,so dont blame me if its boring.haha.
around six months ago,i told you i wanted to be with you. the next day,i woke up happy.i have someone.eventho it feels weird at first. what can i say,he was my first.
six months and 23 days later,i told you i cant be with you. i cant be what you wanted me to be. i cant give you what you want. the next day,i woke up heartbroken. i feel as tho a part of me is missing. and that missing part is so important to me.
no matter how hard i try to direct my thoughts, it always find its way back to you. you left me with so much. i cant help it. everytime,even the most slightest thought made me shed tears. wth is wrong with me.i cant stand being like this.
and they say,your first,would always leave you with the deepest mark. how am i suppose to move on. i tried to be strong.
yes,im sick.i ate sleeping pills yesterday so that i can sleep. but it didnt work. i took two. i still cant sleep. i know its not good to take those pills,but i dont know what to do. for some time,those pills helped my brain to stop thinking. nothing at all.numb.
i finally,slept at 8am.woked up at 10.uncle called. after that call,i sat there motionless. The only thing i wanted to do was pick up the phn and call him. Fcuk.this feels so shitty. i want to be happy. friends say heartbreaks only last for weeks.but forgetting him takes years. weeks.yea.the time seems to move slowly when im sad.
i want to hurt myself.someway or another. because i know,that's the only way to replace the pain.
thank you to those people who tried to make me laugh. it made me smile for a few minutes. all i can say,is that im traumatised.
18 hours later. half a tissue box. blurry vision. crushed.
waked up at 1250pm.i didnt sleep at all last night. my eyes finally gave way at 1030am. pillow cover soaked in teardrops. i cant believe any of this. maybe its a nightmare that i would never wake up to see the morning. all that is left is sorrys' and thank you s.
i owe you brownies. a shirt or any other. something that can symbolize what we used to be. and so many apologies.
i miss you. i miss that smile. i miss the way you wiped your sweat off your forehead. i miss those movie trips. i miss your laugh. i miss you calling me babybear. i miss calling you pirate. i miss the way you hold my hand. i miss your hugs. i miss laying on your chest and hear you breathe. this list would never have an end.
all i can do is tear at those sweet memories. my heart is always for you. i hope yours is too?
yes,im hoping for something that seems so far away. but im lying if i said i dont love you anymore.
im back.after so long.i thought i wanted to delete this boring dead blog. yes, its 3.29am.wth am i doing awake right?hmmm. this heart wont rest and my mind keep on replaying those memories. :(it hurt so bad.i didnt know it would be this bad. i officially stabbed a knife in my chest. i kept listening to the songs that you asked me to hear. the ones which you sang to me that night i think thats gonna be my personal favourite. i lost it. i dont know whether its gonna be how it used to be. but im glad.started and ended in a nice way. dont worry,i ll keep my promises. punching the wall felt so good. ignoring the burn and the pain. if only i can rewind time. looking forward to see that smile.
until then,im gonna let those memories play their part.
